It's All Relative

We went to Lake Tahoe over the holidays and the temperatures were in the low 20s. That felt so cold! But then my husband told me a story he had heard on the news about the coldest place in the world, which, I think, means the place that consistently has the lowest recorded temperatures, and it is a small town in Siberia. The people who live in the town are used to temperatures in the negative 40s and 50s.


For a while, it was a really big deal to be a communist, or in a same-sex relationship, or consume marijuana, or show your nipples in a photo online. I’m sure for some people, these things are still really big deals. And there will be new really big deals that we need to navigate culturally forever and ever.


I have a bad habit of taking my really big deals way too seriously. I like to get all wrapped up in them and analyze them to death and figure out two million different possible solutions and discuss each of those possibilities with every single person who will listen to me. They eat me up until they finally go away. It leaves me exhausted and I am not at all convinced this habit is useful. Mostly, I just need to breathe deeply and acknowledge that the passage of time often does magic to make really big deals into small manageable deals.


Try not to get too hung up on your circumstances even if they are trying their hardest to get you hung up. Because honestly, it’s all relative.

Happy weekend! And as always, thanks for reading.

Lise Charmel lingerie set // Free People earrings

2019 Developing

Everyone in my house has been sick, really sick, for over two weeks now. Two weeks is, by some experts’ standards, long enough to establish or break a habit. In other words, having a house full of sick people is starting to feel normal. And it is filling me with compassion for people who live with or care for other who live with long-term illness.


So much revolves around illness. Schedules, appetites, and the ability to do seemingly normal chores somehow balloons into a perpetual wish list that is nothing short of totally aspirational. It took me until noon to get dressed yesterday, and until dinnertime to unload the dishwasher. And I’m not even sick.


I find myself yearning for regularity. When can we all go out and enjoy a trip to the park together? How might I just step out to run an errand without needing to do an hour’s worth of advance prep? Come to think about it, it’s also a bit like having an infant again. Except an infant in the house always felt joyful, despite the exhaustion. Being around sick people just fills me with worry. It isn’t joyful.


Despite it all, I am realizing exactly what I should be realizing in a situation like this. There is very little we need in life to be happy. And most of it exists within our own mindsets and the ability to look for what we can be grateful about under any set of circumstances. I am so thankful for my own health and so glad I can help the rest of the family to recover theirs.

By the way, my ten-year-old stepdaughter took this photoset while we were in South Lake Tahoe. Congrats to her on her first photo shoot with a “real” camera!

Thanks for reading! Wishing you the best possible Sunday.

Picture Organic coat // Hestra gloves // Intermix hat (old season) // Quay Australia sunglasses // Loeffler Randall bag // J.Crew sweater (secondhand) // Agolde jeans // Dr. Martens boots


I used to find New Year’s resolutions really helpful. They provide structure, goal-setting, and meanginful context to your life. They build in annual reflection. But as I’ve gotten older (ugh, that phrase) I’ve really started turning toward the idea of evolution and self-improvement as a process devoid of particular start points. 

I ascribe a certain amount of this shift to the simple and painful truth that as we all walk through life, we lose friends, lovers, family members, pets, even elements of ourselves—both the physical and the intellectual.  

Thus, the idea of waiting for January 1st to get something important started, or break a bad habit, or make a big change, starts to feel like a bargain with time that isn’t worth the risk. 

In that spirit, I am sharing a list of what I’ve strived to become this past year, and what I’ll keep working on as the first of the year arrives, and as always, passes.  


What will you become this year?

Thank you for reading along. I am so grateful, and so motivated to keep it up in 2019.  

PC:  Anna Rose Monroe Photography