I’ve been spending a lot of time recently thinking about what makes a good life. It is most definitely something that exists at the nexus of actual situation and state of mind. But where, precisely, is the place to draw the line and say “I need to change something about my situation” or “I need to change something about my attitude toward my situation”? I hope I put that question mark in the right place, too.


A lot of meditation experts and yoga instructors and therapists focus so much on the state of mind side of the equation. And I get why—so many elements of life are beyond our control. We can’t be born into different circumstances or given different bodies, so seeking peace from within makes a lot of sense.

I spent a good, solid work week staring at a computer screen spreadsheet of utility data recently. At the end of the week, despite the positive mindset I had mustered to get through it all, I realized I wasn’t living the life I really wanted. I like to be out in nature, and no amount of good attitude is going to suffice for how removed from that I have become in order to pay my bills.


After this realization, I asked my husband to tell me what he thinks prevents people from living their best lives. “Why do I make money staring at a computer when I want to live on a farm?” I asked him. Complicated issues rarely have straightforward answers. It was one of those conversations where we both had to accept non-closure.

For now, only my mindset can get me through. But maybe we can also figure out a way to life more intentionally.


Happy Sunday! Thanks for reading. Skirt is by Abstract Deep.

Holding On

In high school, I attended a writer’s workshop for short story authors. The short story always has been my favorite genre—both to compose and to read. When I was drafting my story, I wrote the end first, which is something I often do. For some reason, the culmination, the point of it all, has always felt like the place to start.


However, by the time the entire piece took shape, the ending didn’t fit at all anymore. While I sensed the problem, I couldn’t bear to rework the element I felt represented the origins of the entire story.

“Sometimes where you end up going is even better than where you set out to go,” the workshop leader advised me. “Don’t be afraid to go somewhere new, just because it isn’t the place you thought you’d be headed.”

And with that, I deleted my original final paragraph and wrote one that was honestly just as good and much more fitting for the story as a whole.


Years later, my very wise hairdresser and I were chatting. I asked him why people continue to come in and ask for haircuts that don’t flatter their features, or are terribly outdated. He told me, “oh, we all tend to hold on to the styles that have served us well in the past.”

What are you holding on to that isn’t serving you well any more, despite your own unwillingness to admit it? You might be surprised at how nicely you thrive without it. We can hold hands while you let it go, if it helps.


Thanks for reading! Happy Sunday.

Baracuta jacket // L’ecole des Femmes shirt // Citizens of Humanity jeans