Slow

My grandfather had a typewriter he found at the thrift store that wasn’t the exact  one Jack London wrote Call of the Wild on, but it was the same year and model. It’s in my parents’ house now and I see it every time I visit them. 

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I do write all my blog posts, and emails, and work memos, and so forth on a computer because I have to, but I still keep all my appointments in a handwritten book. I don’t think time needs to march on unexamined. It’s ok to do a few things the old fashioned way. To be honest, lately I’ve been wishing to do more than just a few things the old fashioned way because I don’t want to keep going at this break-neck pace anymore. 

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I find analyzing what I’ve done and plan to do much easier than just being present. I’m working on it, though. Because as far as I can tell, you can’t take any of this with you when you go.  

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Happy Wednesday, sweet friends! Thanks for reading. Dress is by Bridge and Burn. 

Feelings

I’ve been spending a lot of time recently thinking about what makes a good life. It is most definitely something that exists at the nexus of actual situation and state of mind. But where, precisely, is the place to draw the line and say “I need to change something about my situation” or “I need to change something about my attitude toward my situation”? I hope I put that question mark in the right place, too.

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A lot of meditation experts and yoga instructors and therapists focus so much on the state of mind side of the equation. And I get why—so many elements of life are beyond our control. We can’t be born into different circumstances or given different bodies, so seeking peace from within makes a lot of sense.

I spent a good, solid work week staring at a computer screen spreadsheet of utility data recently. At the end of the week, despite the positive mindset I had mustered to get through it all, I realized I wasn’t living the life I really wanted. I like to be out in nature, and no amount of good attitude is going to suffice for how removed from that I have become in order to pay my bills.

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After this realization, I asked my husband to tell me what he thinks prevents people from living their best lives. “Why do I make money staring at a computer when I want to live on a farm?” I asked him. Complicated issues rarely have straightforward answers. It was one of those conversations where we both had to accept non-closure.

For now, only my mindset can get me through. But maybe we can also figure out a way to life more intentionally.

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Happy Sunday! Thanks for reading. Skirt is by Abstract Deep.